I am the Scrooge and Grinch of Valentine’s day. Why? For one, because it’s an overly commercialized holiday designed to sell greeting cards, expensive jewelry and candy, as well as an attempt to persuade women to define the level of love received from their man by the amount of material possessions he provides her on that given day—some could even argue it continues beyond that. Oh! How cynical of me. I know!
Second, it’s just another way in which we separate ourselves: who got the most carnations—or better yet, roses—who got the most cards with the latest, most fashionable characters, who gave the better candy ad nauseam.
Don’t get me wrong, every woman, including myself, loves to receive kind and romantic gestures from her man when it is unsolicited. I repeat, unsolicited. Meaning, he does something nice or romantic (in a non-sexual nature) for her because he wants to and because he also enjoys it—not because he feels obligated to do so (or expects something in return—ahem, like sex).
Valentine’s Day, for me, represents a social obligation. It’s not about St. Valentine anymore—hell, I don’t even actually recall what his involvement was unless I Google it (probably because I’m just not that religious). And, it’s certainly not about real love, admiration or affection—just tokens.
Third, I have a very different idea about love than I think most do because I loathe the idea women have been sold (i.e. taught) about seeking out “the one” or “true love” to justify sex and marriage. In a previous blog (https://meditationsofacynic.wordpress.com/2014/04/30/part-v-disney-didnt-do-it/), I discussed my reasoning for why I believe “the one” does not exist and that love, sex, and marriage do not need the other, nor do they have to coexist. In fact, you could even apply the same principle to “true love” if you refer to it in the romantic sense. That holding is largely based upon my agreement with Frederick Nietzsche (1844 to 1900) and Emma Goldman (a/k/a “Red Emma” 1864-1940) on the subject. Frankly, I believe the only “true love” one will ever have is that for their children.
Calm down. I’m not saying romantic love between pairs isn’t real or doesn’t exist. There is just a higher caliber in which we define “true love” that is too often intermingled with “the one” and all the nonsense that goes with it. While I don’t believe “the one” exists as far as romance goes, I have concluded “true love” must be separated from our romantic ideals even further.
While the above-linked blog itself isn’t exactly my best writing (it is, after all, a regurgitation of an old term paper), the message is there. But, don’t let me fool you; despite my cynicism, there is a hopeless romantic in me regardless of believing we have been sold on a romantic notion (no, I still don’t blame Disney). And, as George Carlin basically said, a cynic is just a “broken-hearted idealist.” Take that for what you will.
Sleep tight—I’m gone.
January Rain 